Feb 13, 2014

I Don't Know If It's Three Cats Thursday.

Before you jump to comment (I know what you all think!), just read me out.

I love Phantom. He is quite possibly the best cat ever... and I have two amazing cats! But Phantom is special. This boy is the sweetest, most innocent and adorable and angelic thing ever. Who knows what happened to him in his life, but he just still loves everything.

He chirps and loves and follows me around like a puppy. He's so soft. His eyes are so gorgeous. His personality will just melt you.

Phantom wasn't sure about this picture.
But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (sometimes I over-think, I get that from my dad) and I'm just not sure that Phantom is the third cat I never wanted. I feel like maybe I'm just trying to replace Sweet Pea.

Sweet Pea was my third cat. I knew that with everything I had. There was no question. What I felt for her I'm not sure I'll feel about any kitty again.

And, unfortunately, Phantom is not Pea.

I love him. I just don't know if he's truly my third cat. You know what I mean? I hope this is making sense.

All sassy-like after his first bath. 
I was reading through old posts from when we lost Pea, and she was just so special. I resisted a third cat for so many years. So many. Sweet Pea was the only one who could change my mind, and even she almost didn't.

And now we have Phantom here. Moo doesn't like him, and Pimp is usually indifferent, but sometimes hisses. Phantom wants all the love in the world, and literally throws temper tantrums when he's not getting it. It's absurdly adorable. He breaks my heart.

But I'm not sure if he breaks it enough to be my third cat.

I'm so torn. And at this point, I couldn't just adopt him to just anyone. It would have to be someone I know and trust with what could very easily be my own child. He'd love anything and everything, I'm sure -- cats, dogs, people, kids.

Melt. 
He is amazing. I truly think he should be a therapy cat. (I looked into it!) He should be sitting on hospital beds with children in pediatric care units and with elderly folks in nursing homes. He could bring joy and peace to any place, and he'd sit on a lap and purr for hours without complaint or want to move.

But I'm just not sure he's mine.

No clue what to do. :(

P.S. His leg is so much better! Still swagger, but he's walking on his foot just fine!

Here are Pimp, Moo and Phantom all kind of playing with one toy.


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35 comments:

  1. The answer will come. Just relax and enjoy him. You don't have to solve the problem in the immediate, do you?

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  2. Andrea & the Celestial KittiesFebruary 13, 2014 at 4:39 AM

    Aw, I understand how you feel. Don't rush into anything, take your time. If the perfect home shows up somewhere else, you'll know. If it doesnt because you cant bear for him to go to what does show up.. well, you'll know.

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  3. Before you go to bed at night ask your angels and guides what you should do. When you wake up in the morning, the first image in your mind
    (grab it quickly) will be your answer. I do it all the time with important questions. Ive never regretted any of my decisions.

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  4. I agree with the other posters here; the right answer will come in time. Maybe the right answer will be to keep Phantom; maybe not. In your heart you will know what the right thing to do is. Personally, I hope you keep Phantom so we can continue to see him on your posts :-)

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  5. The right home will come along! Thanks for helping Phantom

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  6. And what if Sweat Pea sent Him to you from Heaven?

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  7. If Moo doesn't like him now, I doubt if he ever will. Crash didn't like Burn 10 years ago and still hisses and growls at him if he even looks at her. He doesn't even have to do anything.

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  8. It would be wonderful if he could live in a senior center. That is one place where unconditional love is needed so much. Even the best care can't chase away the loneliness like the love of an animal.

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  9. I don't know. Not to put a load on your shoulders, but it seems to me that Phantom already knows he'd the third cat. Sounds like he is trying everything he can to convince you to let him stay in the home where he feels happy, healthy and safe. He doesn't realize he is an odd man out. We've had cats that didn't get along initially but over time they mellowed and accepted that there were other babies needing a home just like they did. Things like this are why we can't foster anymore. {and why we have a houseful of cats, lol} Best of luck to you and sweet little Phantom.

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  10. A cat lover furreverFebruary 13, 2014 at 9:10 AM

    He sounds like a keeper to me. If you let some one else adopt him you won't know if he will receive the care and love that you can give him. I'm sure that he didn't come to just by chance. He was placed in your care by a higher authority. If I were you, I'd pray about it and quit striving for an answer.

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  11. Dorian, I just lost my baby boy Maxx last week, I still don't know why he died, but the lady who takes care of my cats called me on Thursday to tell me she found him gone in the kitchen floor.....I now have only 1 very lonely cat (Mikki) I think you should wait before you decide what to do with Phantom....Moo would be so lonely without Pimp if (

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  12. Dorian, I think that in your heart you already know that Phantom is yours. He will never replace Pea. No cat will ever replace Pea. She was so special, and she was yours even when you didn't know she was yours. Now you have Phantom, and you love him almost as much as you loved Pea. *Almost*. Whether he can overcome that "almost" is the only question left. You've already decided that he can't go to just anyone. That's very telling. But you feel guilty because you feel like you're betraying Pea. You aren't. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe Pea sent Phantom to you? Our Angels will do that, you know. Think about it.

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  13. Dorian. I completely understand your situation. We are going through a very similar one in our home. We took in a street kitty last April, despite our already crowded home of 6 plus one long term foster (that's another story). He completely stole our hearts with his huge personality, gruff meow, and beautiful ginger furry love. But, we have a delicate balance in our home; a house full of hard luck cases, and harmony is not the norm. Maxwell, the big ginger oaf, tipped the scale. Now we are doing our best to make it work, but it just might not. But our hearts hurt thinking about him not being with us. So, before I wax on any longer, I GET IT. It looks as if Phantom is going to be surrounded in complete LOVE, no matter which choice you make. Your honest post is helping me realize much the same for our Maxwell. <3

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  14. Phantom is your fourth cat; Pea will always hold spot 3. Give in to this handsome lover boy and be his forever valentine. I believe in time Pimp and Moo will come around, just keep playing games for 3.......

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  15. Sometimes...when something we love leaves us....the universe fills that spot with something or someone else to love. It isn't and never should be viewed as a replacement...its a love all its own. If you didn't love him enough to be your 3rd cat....he'd have already found a forever home elsewhere. :D

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  16. Hey, Dorian, maybe you will find the perfect place for Phantom. Maybe he will be your third cat for a little while, and then go on to what he was meant for. I know he will never be Pea, but love him while you've got him!

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  17. I think Pea would want you to keep him. :-)

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  18. <3 We will support any decision you make.

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  19. When you have Someone Special, you can't replace him or her. I still miss my three, and I always will. Phantom doesn't want to replace anyone, he just wants to be loved. It's your hurt that makes you think of "replacement."

    You can, and will, love again. Whether or not you keep Phantom, know that Sweet Pea was yours, and loved, and she loved you.

    If you do try to keep Phantom... In my experience, it takes longer to introduce a brash upstart into a settled household. Moo is looking at going from being the baby to a middle child, and might be less than pleased. Pimp is probably thinking, "I'm getting too old for this @#$%." Phantom will need to work on his kitty manners and understand that the boys get loved, too.

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  20. He'd be a great therapy cat! Question is... who will be able to take him to all those places so that he can do his thing? Sometimes we don't know that they are ours until someone tries to take them away.... Hard decision, good luck. I know that you'll do the right thing, whatever that may be!

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  21. Dorian, there's so much wisdom here. I fall in with let it be, and in time your heart will know. I do think it's a heart thing and not a head thing.

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  22. Dorian, I think you may get a sign tomorrow on Valentine's day. Love is in the air in your home. Phantom is not with you to replace Sweet Pea. He is with you to continue on the beautiful love you had and will have forever for Sweet Pea. Phantom is with you to help you keep the fond memories of your beloved Sweet Pea and make new ones with him.

    Try not to think of Phantom as a replacement for Sweet Pea. New kitties are never replacements. Phantom is a new kitty in your home because that's where his place is. He is a cat who needs a loving forever home just like Sweet pea needed. Dorian, I know you have such a big soft heart for all cats of the world. I understand that feeling. Don't deny that feeling. You have enough love for them all. Talk to Sweet Pea tonight. I think she will let you know what to do. There's a reason Phantom is with you. Your heart will heal. He will help you.

    P.s. if Moo hates him so much, he would not be playing right next to Phantom. He looks pretty good to me from that video. Phantom will show him love.

    I'm thinking of you. Xo

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  23. Beautiful comments. Phantom sounds just like my "Olive", (pictured with me). She is the love of my life.....now. Who knows what will be years from today. We know how careful you would be in choosing this special fellow a human, but you will miss him too much. I think you need him as much as he needs you.
    O's

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  24. agree with reneda cooper baer. i think he already assumed 3rd cat position. please keep him. stop thinking about it. he obviously loves you :-)

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  25. stop!!! let things happen on their own. be happy for now, enjoy the love and just walk in beauty.

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  26. it ain't nothin miss dorian, it ain't nothin.

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  27. I understand. You have a responsibility to Pimp and Moo and you are still raw from Sweet Pea's passing. Sometimes animals (and people) come into our lives to show us it is okay to love again and then move on because we were never meant to be their final destination. Maybe that is what Phantom is for you. Or maybe he will be your third cat. Either way you don't have to make a decision now - just enjoy what you have and see what happens. You can be picky in Phantom's new home so that gives you the time you need to make sure you make the right decision.

    I had to rehome some cats - a stray I took in had kittens and 12 cats was just too many for me! But I was also able to be picky and I know that all the cats are very happy in their new homes and I get updates on them - and that is good enough for me. I also made them sign a contract so should anything happen I get them back - they will never go to a shelter. It broke my heart when I had to let them go, but seeing (cause I got to visit with them all last year) them in their new home all happy made me realize it was the right decision. I hope that you will see what the right decision for you is soon.

    *hugs*

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  28. It makes no sense for me to comment otherwise, you wrote exactly what I am feeling but never would have been able to express, as English is not my mother tongue. Thanks for your thoughts.

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  29. I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you find the love for another kitty in need of love to be with your Mikki.

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  30. I always thought Pea sent Phantom to you and I can understand this is a hard decision. Maybe it's not time to make the decision yet. Maybe you need to give it a little longer and as someone else said ask Pea for a sign or just let it go for a few days or weeks and see if the decision gets more clear. Nala has never warmed to the other cats, she's always been an 'only cat' until the others came along, but we make it work. There's plenty of love to go around.

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  31. Cheryle Burrell MartinFebruary 13, 2014 at 7:00 PM

    I agree with mmckoriet. I think Phantom is an excellent fit for you and he will win over Pimp and Moo. Just let him love you and help heal your heart. He just wants lots of love and to give lots of love, not to replace Sweet Pea. No one could do that. Good luck to all of you. :)

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  32. I don't think you "replace" animals. I think they each have their own special place in our hearts, so you can't compare Pea to Phantom and vice versa. You'll know if it is right--just give it time. As for Pimp and Moo...they will either like him or not. My two hate each other, but we still all live together.

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  33. I love this so much, Linda. Thank you. <3

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  34. Dorian, I just have to add that pictures tell us all. That picture of you and Phantom tells me that a bond has formed. That picture makes me smile.

    Whatever decision you make, you have wonderful friends here supporting you. I read all the comments and you have brought many people together sharing their own stories of love for their cats.

    That picture... :)

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