I can't believe I'm writing this. Sweet Pea is an angel.
She's always been an angel, of course, but now she really is one. Sweet Pea went to the Rainbow Bridge this morning.
Yesterday I had three cats, and today I have two again. I can hardly even process it. I love that round, sweet girl so much.
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| Pea asking to be petted. And she was. A lot. |
The one thing that brings me so much comfort and honestly makes me so happy is that I'm so glad
I told her she was mine. I'm so glad she knew had someone she belonged to. I told her yesterday that I loved her, that she was mine and that she lived here. I felt silly then telling her, but I did and I kissed her and held her and I was just so happy about all of it.
Her nickname lately has been "Pea Heart" -- like sweetheart, but Pea. It fit her so well. That's pretty much all I called her.
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| Me and my Pea Heart. Look at the love in those eyes. |
I loved coming home and seeing her little head peek out from behind the couch to see who it was. I'd go over to pet her and say hi and, most of the times, I was lucky if I got a little bit of her tail as she took off for between the couch and the coffee table. Then she'd stop, look back and I'd go to her there... and then she'd take off for her fort (under the dining room table). Then I'd walk over there and pet her. I guess it was our game.
When I'd wake up in the mornings, she'd be sitting on the couch in the living room, paws all tucked in like a sweet little meatloaf. Every time I saw that I was just so happy that she had a couch to do that on.
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| Pea loaf. |
Sometimes when I would be sitting on the couch watching TV, she'd hop up there with me, and every single time it absolutely made my day. To go from parking lot kitty to an inside princess -- I'm so happy I could do that for her.
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| Sweet Pea debating whether to come up on the couch or not. |
I can't count how many times I said "I don't want three cats." I want to kick myself for every single one of them. I knew I had three cats and I should have given her the comfort of knowing she was home long ago. I hope she knew it, but I should have told her sooner.
For those of you who have been following, I took Sweet Pea to the vet last week because I just wanted to check on her belly. It seemed hard to me, and I was just thinking it might be worms. Turns out, she likely had a mass on her liver. We did an ultrasound to confirm, and that's almost certainly what she had. We sent a biopsy out to be analyzed, and we were still waiting on that to see if it was malignant or benign. We'll still get the results back next week.
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| Pea, after deciding to get on the couch. |
But Pea Heart was fine. She was not showing any symptoms. She was not sick. I did not take her to the vet for anything like this. And so I thought that, while it wasn't good news and we couldn't really do anything for her, at least we would have some time. And I would make her happy and love her and we'd just flat out have more time.
The ultrasound was Thursday, and she was fine Friday.
This morning I woke up early to leave the house and kick off a transport, and Pea was in her fort. I petted her and said good morning, and she seemed OK, but maybe a little tired. I thought maybe she'd just woken up like me.
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| Pea liked the sink. Like any cat, really. |
Then she came out from under the table and plopped down next to it. I petted her some more and she was purring and meowing like she would, but she was definitely not herself. Just lazy and lethargic, I could tell. Then she got up and pooped some on the floor (which I thought was good - she hasn't been pooping enough).
And then she went under my desk and plopped down again. This time when I went to pet her, I just felt she was very weak and not as responsive as she should be (she'd never let me just pet her like that without taking off after a few seconds), so I picked her up and she just seemed limp in my arms.
And so I freaked out and immediately called her vet, who I luckily have his cell number.
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| Check out that sexy white bikini! |
Meanwhile, I grabbed Pea and put her in her carrier and was ready to head out the door. We were going somewhere, whether it was the ER vet or to his clinic, this girl needed help now.
When I put her in the carrier, she was just a puddle. Head not up, just limp and hardly moving. All of this happened within 10 minutes! I can't believe how fast.
We rushed to the ER vet. I ran three red lights on way and sped like a nutcase down the road, the whole time petting her and begging her to stay with me. I honestly didn't know if we'd make it there.
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| My Pea Heart. |
And when we did, the vet took her back and started work immediately. She said she was very critical, but we talked about getting her stable and then transferring her to our vet. Her temperature was very low, which is an indication of advance stage cancer, and the fluid in her abdomen was most likely what was causing her to be like this, because she couldn't breathe well.
I sat and waited and then she came out and asked me to come back for a minute. And my heart dropped.
She said that the little bit of stress from getting her blood and ready for the x-ray had cause her to deteriorate. She had stopped breathing on her own, so they had immediately hooked her up to a breathing machine and given her medicine to keep her heart beating. The vet asked if I wanted them to keep breathing for her.
And my heart just dropped even more. She was fine yesterday! I took the cutest pictures of her last night! How in the world could this be?!
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| Round Pea. She was the cutest thing. |
I called her other parking lot mommy, Kelly, and gave her the update, and then the vet came in and told me her heart had stopped now also. She was essentially gone.
I went to her before they unhooked her from the machines and called her Pea Heart and rubbed her head and told her I loved her. I always used to say to her, "Oh hai, Pea" in this silly voice, and so I said to her then, "Oh bye, Pea" and then they turned everything off.
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| Sweet Pea the Ear-Tipped Princess |
It's not fair. She was just starting to live the good life. She was the happiest kitty, purring all the time so you could hear her across any room. She meowed every time she saw me for the first time in the day or when I got home.
And she had such a good bodyguard and constant observer in Moo with his never-ending #peawatch. Maybe he knew something we didn't. I want to hug him for that, and I will.
So now Moo's #peawatch had ended, and Pea is watching over all of us instead.
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| This was last night. Moo's final #peawatch. |
I truly hate to ask, but Pea ran up quite a vet bill in the past week. I spend so much money on rescue kitties all the time, but I simply don't have this. I know she was my responsibility (I am her mom!), but I know everyone loved her. Even just a few dollars would help.
Losing her is already too much to deal with. I wish vet bills didn't exist. I took pictures of all her bills and put them on the fundraiser page if you want to see what we did for her. I understand it's the holidays, so pockets are tight, so if you can't give, please share Pea's story. Everyone should see how sweet Pea was.
Thank you, everyone, for sharing Sweet Pea with me and helping convince me that she was truly home with me all along.
UPDATE 5:15 p.m.: Oh my goodness. First, thank you all for the kind words. It helps. I've been a ball of tears off and on all day. Last night I was crying because of all the amazing things we've done together - Santa Paws Drive and then I counted the cats we've rescued/transported this year... 201 lives saved in 2013! And I broke down from the awesomeness of it all. And now today, this outpouring of help and love. Pea's ER and ultrasound bills are already covered, in just a few hours! Thank you. Thank you, everyone. I think Pea was all of ours a little bit. If there's extra, it will go to Pea's private cremation and little ceramic Pea paw prints for myself and her other two parking lot mommies. I don't know what we'll do with her ashes yet. Usually I like to take them back to the parking lot, but she wasn't really a parking lot kitty anymore. :)
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